Soap is not a condiment
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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