I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
