Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
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he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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