we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
