New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
