Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
