how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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