____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
