he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
