We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
