I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
