my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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