Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
