I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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