There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
love makes seman taste better
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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