love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Enjoy the penises
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
