508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
