i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
