So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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