This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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