Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
we should paint friendship bongs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
