He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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