I love black thongs
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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