I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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