It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize