I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
