hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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