You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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