If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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