What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
