We're facebook friends in real life
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you win again, gameday.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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