i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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