does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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