trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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