Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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