I'm jealous of your bromance
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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