Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
