dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love having hate sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
