I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Im part way to drunk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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