we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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