dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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