Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
