So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
