He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
