so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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