oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Randomize
