So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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