Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
