theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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