I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize