I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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