i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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