Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
