quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
