The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
