So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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