Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
