..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
