Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Randomize
