Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.