Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it