i was born a porn star she said
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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