i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt