Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
