i think i have herpe
just one?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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