Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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